I Eat Children – Long Sleeve T-Shirt


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Remember the food pyramid!? Well, apparently, children made the cut this year. It turns out that their tears are also a great source of sodium and help with muscle recovery.

A long-sleeved shirt with a picture of everyone’s favorite skeleton king and text reading “I Eat Small Children” across the front.

What can I say? To be honest with everyone I’m ready to go home and don’t know what to put for the description on this shirt. It’s a long sleeve shirt. It will keep you warmer than a shirt with shorter sleeves. It’s a limited edition.

Also, if you ever do get a girlfriend, she will take this from you so you should just buy two of them while you can.

This shirt is perfect for all you child-eaters out there. It’s stylish and comfortable, and it sends a clear message that you’re not afraid to take on the big kids. So go ahead and wear it with pride! Let the world know that you’re not afraid to indulge in a bit of cannibalism from time to time.

• 100% jersey knit
• Pre-shrunk
• Classic fit
• Double-needle ⅞” collar
• Taped neck and shoulders
• Long sleeve, ribbed cuffs
• Quarter-turned

Additional information

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Size Chart

Size guide
Length (inches) 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35
Width (inches) 18 20 22 24 26 28 30 32